Coming to America

– By Robin Jovanovich –

Khatereh Yavari left Iran to come to the United States in 1983 because her parents wanted her to pursue her education in English. She had been a student at an international school, a private school with classes in English until the government closed down all private international schools after the 1979 Revolution. “At the public school I attended until I left for America, the Islamic curriculum was followed, including classes in religion and Arabic. Private school students were treated as spoiled kids,” she recalled. “There was no middle class in Iran. So most 'upper class' families chose to send their children to international schools.”

Kathy remembers the time she had tan marks on her face from wearing ski goggles. “The teachers accused me of wearing makeup, which is forbidden in public.”

Switching to Brookline High School in Brookline, Mass., as a 10th grader was another adjustment. “I moved in with my uncle and his family. My cousin, who was an only child, now had to share his life with me. We had our share of sibling rivalry! But the hardest part was being separated from my parents and my sister Rana. I worried about them living in Iran during the Iran-Iraq war.” She added, “But at the same time, I had an easier time assimilating than many immigrants because I could speak the language. Fairly soon, I was happy to be living in the U.S., and eating Big Macs on a regular basis.”

In 1987 her parents came to the United States, so her younger sister could also enjoy greater educational opportunities and overall freedom. Her father is a textile engineer and supervised a plant for a textile company in Los Angeles.

Kathy did her undergraduate studies at Boston University, receiving a degree in political science and international relations and then went on to American University where she received an M.B.A. in international finance. She worked for the Bank for International Settlements in Basle, Switzerland, and the Federal Reserve Bank of New York for two years.

She met her future husband, Reza Vahabzadeh, also from Iran, at an Iranian gathering in Los Angeles. He is a banker. They moved to Rye six years ago.

“We thought we would stand out because Rye is such a homogeneous community, but bridging the two cultures has been easy and enriching. There is a large Persian community in and around Manhattan. We celebrate with them and our American friends who enjoy learning about our culture.”

One of the best aspects of her native culture, she says, is family values. Education and professionalism are the others.

Whenever she visits Iran, which she and her family do every two or three years to see her father who moved back there and other family and friends, she spends time with them and very little with the outside world. “Therefore, the only time I have to adhere to Islamic rules is when I go out in public: I cover my hair and wear a long trench coat over my clothes (even if it means wearing shorts underneath) and I don't order alcoholic beverages.”

Kathy notes that many people of her parent's generation have returned to Iran. I think at their age, they are more at ease, speaking their native language and socializing with their old friends. “My father is retired and went back to Iran to help take care of his mother. My mom is still in the United States and not too keen on going back there full time. Women still have to sit in the back of buses; the reason being men have to sit in the front, so they are not distracted by women! Anything 'sensual' is forbidden in public.”

As a professional woman, she's bothered that in most Islamic societies, women have far fewer rights than men. “I have noticed, however, that compared to other Middle East countries, women in Iran have more rights. They can drive, hold office jobs and take part in public sports such as skiing, golf, even sky diving, as long as they do not take part in them with men.”

For the past three years, Kathy, 38, mother of three boys, 8, 6 and 2 1/2, has worked for Prudential Rand Realty in Rye. She and Reza speak both English and Farsi to the children. “They understand it but cannot speak it fluently. They are also fluent in Spanish (thanks to their nanny). They often tell people that their parents were born in Iran but they're New Yorkers."

The Vahabzadehs are Muslims but do not practice their religion. “The only religious person in my family is my grandmother. She will fast at Ramadan even at the age of 85.”

Kathy Yavari will share her history and culture in a talk and slide show at the Rye Free Reading Room Sunday, April 22, at 4 p.m. Her sister Rana will also perform a traditional Persian dance and her husband will be on hand for the question-and-answer period.