To Heal Thyself: Melanie Cane’s Memoir and Road Back

– By Robin Jovanovich –

On paper, Melanie Cane, was well on her way to an enviable life. The 1979 Scarsdale High School graduate went on to Wellesley College, from which she earned an undergraduate degree in psychology. She completed pre-med at Harvard University and earned a medical degree from New York Medical College.

“I planned to be a child psychiatrist,” said Cane, who had finished two years of a four-year residency at Cornell Medical Center – Westchester Division when her world came apart.

Melanie Cane is not her real name, but there’s nothing fictional about her new book, “Poisoned Love”. In it she describes in haunting detail how she became unraveled by love. “Luke”, the man she loved, some might say quite madly, was also a doctor. They lived together for over a year in the early 1990s. After he told her they’d have to break up, he continued to see her and tell her that someday they might be together again. Her friends urged her to stop seeing him but she couldn’t. She spiraled deep into depression.

“I was crying all the time but still somehow okay with my patients,” said Cane. “When I lost my job, I immediately applied to other programs and was accepted.” What she couldn’t accept was Luke’s rejection.

Luke became sick, so sick he was hospitalized at Sloan-Kettering, where he underwent a brain biopsy. Melanie visited him at the hospital every night. One night, with his family and friends in the room, Luke said to her: “ I know you tried to kill me.”

The next day Cane confessed to having tried to poison him with Prolixin. She spent seven weeks in St. Vincent’s undergoing psychiatric treatment. “While there I was charged with first-degree assault. They wanted to charge me with attempted murder.”

In Port Chester Court Judge John Carey sentenced her to two weekends in jail. She lost her medical license.
Luke recovered, so has Melanie.

With lots of help from her mother, sister, aunt and therapist, she found her way back into the world. In the end, she did the heavy lifting. She went back to school and earned a Master’s degree in Public Health. “When I applied to the Ph.D. program and didn’t get in I got discouraged all over again.”

In 1996 she started volunteering in animal shelters and got into veterinary school, but she couldn’t afford it. For the past decade she’s supported herself through pet sitting and training and photography. She’s been a regular contributor to The Rye Record for the past several years. She handles every writing and photography assignment we throw at her with ease and skill.

What prompted her to write “Poisoned Love” was that she was finally ready to sit down and figure out what had happened.

While the official publication date isn’t until February 2, copies are available and the book is getting lots of attention. Everyone who has read “Poisoned Love,” including Judge Carey, has been struck by Cane’s courage in telling her story. Everyone who’s read it has also said it has made them consider their own struggles. In the end, it’s a hopeful book.

Cane, now 47, hopes to return to work in some capacity in the mental health field, either counseling or giving inspirational talks. She’s applying for a journalism fellowship in mental health from the Rosalyn Carter Foundation. Her topic is: how having a mentally ill child affects siblings.

Melanie Cane will talk about “Poisoned Love” January 29, from 7 to 9 p.m. at Wainwright House.